Saturday, June 28, 2003

Well tonight The Trash Film Orgy kicks off. Many ICBINC folks are involved. Sid as Evil Sid, Amber as the Nurse, Cheerleader or whatever roll requires her beautifulness, Ben will be a Zombie killer durring opening night, hopefully he will play the wolfman again at some point this year. He does a great wolf man.
Miles will get in there somewhere.
ICBINC alumnus Zach, Amy, and Darin are also involved. Christy is not officialy an ICBINC Alumni but she helped with the art and even did a little puppeteering for us in the beginning. She is becoming the main organizer of The TFO, a job I used to hold. I am now MC, and MC only as I hand over my production duties. It's unusual for me to be involved in a project I neither producer nor direct. Weirder still since TFO was my brain fart, having grown out of the Tuesday Night Grindhouse show I used to put on with Bryna (my sweetie) and DJ Junior (back then he was just Patrick).
I'm also a little weird about having to go be funny when I'm pretty down in the dumps today. I lost my pet bird. Me and my girlfriend are both pretty devastated. this bird was like our baby. We got him when he was so young that Bryna had to feed him with a syringe. I bought him from a woman who's pet birds had had babies and she was crying as she handed him over to me, but she knew she couldn't keep all the babies. I sure will miss him.
But, tonight I will put on my smile and go be funny and obnoxious. I remember nights at Spike and Mike's Animation Festival when my head would be pounding so bad that I'd be laying down in the lobby under a bench, but come show time I'd get up and intro the show, and crack jokes and shake hands and then I'd crawl back under the bench till the next show. I can't complain. My brothers have gone out and worked construction in over 100 degree heat. I guess I got it easy. The difference is they didn't have to pretend they were happy. Oh well, I wouldn't trade places if I could.
Here's a picture of my bird sitting on my girlfriends finger.

Friday, June 20, 2003

It was pretty great being on the set with Sean Penn and the world famous Amber Kloss. I'm kind of bugged that she names the stars as Sean Penn and Naomi Watts and doesn't mention me at all. She's rotten I tells ya.
I am a huge Sean Penn fan, and I wanted to tell him I appreciated his pro-peace stance that he's been very vocal about as of late. But I also didn't want to bug him. He was working hard and I would imagine, trying hard to stay in character. He sat right next to me at one point. Plus, as I mentioned in the last post he shoved me and shot the guy next to me. That was rad. While dressed as a cop I got to run across the tarmac at Sac international airport with a replica gun on my hip and everything. They had to have airport officials supervise and they warned us that stepping outside of the designated filming areas could shut the airport down for hours.
The director was Niels Mueller, who wrote Tadpole. I realy enjoyed Tadpole so it was cool working with him. The DP worked on Y Tu Mama Tambien, but I'm not sure in what capacity.
I'm looking foward to August when we'll be in SF again and then we'll be in LA. More details soon.
Until then well be involved in The Trash Film Orgy. See www.TrashFilmOrgy.com

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

Okay, I haven't blogged in FOREVER! Here's what I've been up to, last week I was in the movie 'The Assassination of Richard Nixon' starring Sean Penn and Naomi Watts, YAY! It was rad, then I did a commercial for Great Western Mortgage company, if you wanna see the pictures of it just go to: www.emrl.com/news.html and click on the June 14th pictures and you'll find a picture of me working very hard (sleeping on a blanket next to the river!) then Friday night I went to Miss Amy Annes excellent Friday the 13th slumber party, where we had cabana boys make all our food and mix all our drinks, and even bring us porn!!! It was a total party night!! YAY! Then Saturday Miles and I were filming for the local movie 'The Last Word', which has been going great! Then Sunday, I went to church, for reals, I really went to church with my parents since it was Fathers day, but I figured it would do me some good after all the sin and debauchery I indulged in at Amy Annes party...tee hee! Then Saturday night I went with my friend to see one of my new fav local bands Quitter at this coffee shop in Elk Grove and I was so pissed because it ended at like 10:45 and we missed everything! Elk Grove sucks! I was so bummed because they are a super rad band and you should check them out! (www.quitterarmy.com) but that's okay because afterwards we joined the band at the Monkey Bar for Tang and Yoohoo drinks.
So tonight I'm going dancing at Lipstick....yeah! Okay, I guess that's all I have been up to....talk to you later punx!

Friday, June 13, 2003

Hello, This is Xeno. The screams from the other room are not real. They are from a TV. My eyes are red. There is no cure for hell. Except to turn off the tube. And glow by the sun instead. A cute girl is watching me type. She has eyes like the ocean and she smells like a sea flower. I think that's a good thing. Sea flowers are very rare. They happen in Hawaii when they fall in the water from trees that overhang blue lagoons. Lagooons. Say it with me Laaaa gooooon. You goons get outta here.

There, I've BLOGGED. Oh yeah, a girl here at this slumber party that I have crashed says you should feel jealous because Xeno is, once again, surrounded by scantily clad beautiful women with rasor sharp minds. But Xeno says, naw, he's already got one. :-) "Tell them we've already got one!" (Snickering)



Thursday, June 12, 2003

A cop? Does this mean you get to bust out the ol' fake moustache? Hey, KLJ. Where is your moustache story anyway? You should put a link to it here so your fans can read about your fake facial hair history.
I was saying to you how I missed ICBINC yesterday and you said rehearsals will be starting soon. Of course, I don't go to rehearsals, so I'll still miss you guys. But then I thought - "What if I rehearsed my merch girl job at your rehearsals?" I could set up a table with T-shirts and CD's in the corner of the rehearsal space. I could practice counting out change. I'd keep yelling, "Hey Ben! Hey Miles! Come over here and pretend to buy something from me!" If anybody left the room, I'd demand to see a ticket stub before they could enter again. I'd tap your shoulders in the middle of your lines and say, "Would you like to be on our mailing list?" I'd make coffee and dump it out and make it again. Practice makes perfect! :)

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

IT WAS SO GREAT! I'LL WRITE THE WHOLE STORY UP LATER. OH MAN IT ROCKED! SEAN PENN SHOVES ME. I'M SO GONNA BE IN THE FILM. HE PUSHES ME AND THEN SHOOTS THE GUYS NEXT TO ME AND THEN CHARGES PAST ME. IT WAS FRIGGIN' GRRRREAT! I'M GOING BACK TOMMOROW AND I GET TO PLAY A COP.
Keith and Amber are out filming a big time movie with Sean Penn and Naomi Watts today! How'd it go guys???

Sunday, June 08, 2003

I'm writing from the studios of NPR station KALW in San Francisco where I've been invited to retell my story of lying my way onto national television. This story has so far been published in Morbid Curistiy Magazine, at www.corporatemofo.com, and now the story will be on NPR. I've gotten as much exposure talking about being on TV as I got from being on TV. The studio is in a school building. I haven't figured out if the school is still in use or not. The place looks like it could be a set for an X-Files. Metal grates on all the windows. Evertything painted in the same shade of beige. The only variation being the faded grafiti scattered about. I'm early so I thought I'd kill a little time on the blog.
I promised awhile ago to put up the address for our Fan Site. The site is at www.geocities.com/notcomedy . Go check it out. Be a fan. Worship at our feet. C'mon, we deserve it. And we need to get you worshippin' soon. We're getting old. The expiration dates looming. First I got to old to be a rockstar. Soon I'll be too old to be a famous comedian. Then I'll have to become a humorist and if I don't catch on with that one before gaining still more forehead as my hair makes it's swift getaway, I'll become a spoken work/poet type.
It's not totally confirmed, BUT I'm 90% sure we'll be at The M Bar in LA on August 9th. We're looking into doing SF the week before, but that one's only 10% sure. And then we'll get ready to hit the Sacramento Stage after a too long break. Hope to see you soon.

Friday, June 06, 2003

I miss ICBINC. I got together with Jonathon Morken who produced the short films we've shown over the years, and Bob Moricz, who we'll probably be doing our next film with. We went over all the footage Jonathon has shot of ICBINC. Many hours of footage. We are putting together a short demo that we can put online. Seeing all the old footage sure makes me want to get back to work, and back on the stage. I look foward to heading to LA and performing again in August. In the meanwhile it'll be all about writing and marketing. I wish I didn't have to worry about marketing. There is an art and a science to it, and I would always want to be involved but I wish I had more time to spend and the writing, directing part of this. Eventualy we'll hand over the marketing reins to someone else. But for now, I'll keep selling with all my might. HEY YOU! BUY SOME ICBINC! IT CURES CANCER AND MAKES YOU LESS STUPID! DO IT! NOW! OR WE'LL IMPLY DOUBTS AS TO YOUR PARENTAGE! Man, I'm good.

Monday, June 02, 2003

I hadn't heard of that Cookie Mueller book. I'm gonna have to check that out. Speaking of the John Waters clan, I just picked up a copy of Divine's Hit single "You Think You're a Man". It was so stoked to find it. I also got a Don Adams record (he was the guy from Get Smart) and I picked up THREE Lilly Tomlin records, a Jose Jimenez record and a Freddy Prinze record. Freddy Prinze was the comedian who starred in Chico and The Man. He committed suicide unfortunately. He was one of the earliest latino comics to get big. His son Freddy Prinze Jr is now getting big as a pretty boy actor but I have no use for him. Jose Jimenez was a white guy acting hispanic. The same comedian that does Jose did a chinese character and a Swedish character. He'd be skinned alive today. Oooh, Oooh, I also got a Wally George record. Wally is Rebecca DeMornei (or however the hell you spell her name) 's dad. He had this arch conservative show where he'd invite liberal folks on and then call them names and throw 'em off the show. It was great. I could never figure out if he was for real or not, so over the top was he. He was on the same channel in Souther California that carried Roller Derby and Glorious Ladies of Wrestling. Pretty great stuff. Now I have a record of him rapping. Life is good.