Monday, December 29, 2003

Relief Rushed to Iran Quake Victims

Click here to see the American Red Cross page regarding the Iran Earthquake. Over 20,000 dead and so many more injured, homeless or missing. This would be the right time for the world to put aside all differences and take care of some people in need. You can donate to The Red Cross from the page I linked to above, or you can donate through British Red Cross, who seem more willing to take donation specifically for Iran. If anyone would like to send me information on other ways to help I will publish them as well.

Friday, December 26, 2003

Arts&culture - December 25, 2003
Click here to check out an article by our own Becca C telling of the new comedy club opening on Del Paso. Pretty exciting stuff. I can't wait for this fabulous new playground to be open.
First, let me say HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMBER KLOSS! We're so glad you and your butt were born!
Secondly, let me say that Amber and I had the most fun on Christmas Eve at the Haints and Anton show. It was warm and fuzzy and laugh out loud funny and everyone should come with us next year! I also saw It's a Wonderful Life at the Crest (thanks Sid!) and drove around the rich people's neighborhoods to gawk at their glorious light displays like the peasant I am. What an awesome Christmas Eve!
Christmas was beautiful too. The rain stopped leaking through my roof and the presents were saved! Xeno got me everything I ever even thought about wanting (I must have been very good this year!) including a DVD player. So KLJ - you know how you're always offering to lend me movies, but I always tell you I can't watch them because I only have a VCR? Well, I'm ready to borrow them ALL now. Bring 'em on. Do they make the Kids in the Hall on DVD? That's the first DVD I want to own.
Hey, I just realized I'll be able to watch the I Can't Believe It's Not Comedy DVD in the comfort of my own home too! (once we film it live at the Crest Theatre at 10pm on January 10 and you're all going to be there cheering in the audience, right?) It is a merry Christmas after all!
Hey all! Hope everyone had a swellarific Christmas! Christmas Eve the uber lovely and decked in pink Becca and I went to the True Love Cafe for their free show featuring the Groovie Ghoulies (as the Haints) and Anton Barbeau! It wasn't as crowded as we thought it would be, and Kevin Seconds even got her and I some seats and 'hostessed' us to a table, how kind! We saw Roach and Scampi of the Ghoulies go to a battle of chocolate with their advent calendars on stage, it was fun! Afterwards I talked to Kepi who said they should be making our next comedy show! YAY!

Afterwards I went to the Raven and met up with some friends from SF and some Short Bus peeps and got our drink on. Yesterday I went to my families/ relatives house, drank lotsa wine, ate a lota food, got home by 3:00 pm and was bored, so I went to see 'Lost In Translation' with Mr. Hardcore rock star Mike Hood because he was being a bah humbug and had nothing to do....it was a pretty good movie except I'm never going to the movies with Mike again because he has ADD and can't sit still and focus watching movies and kept yelling "DO YOU WANT SOME POPCORN? ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T?" Nah I kid, but I had to keep telling him ssshhhhh! Afterwards we went to meet up with his friends, drank some beers then walked over to the Press Club (which was actually open on Xmas) and danced, and at midnight I made sure everyone knew it was my birthday and got free drinks!!!! YAY! Tonight for my birthday all the Short Bus Magazine people from LA, SF and Sac are in town so were all going to San Fran, getting a limo, eating at Cha Cha Cha’s, then catching shows/ drinking/ dancing at The Elbo Room and Make out Room! I can’t wait! This will be my 4th night in a row drinking too much, then tomorrow night I’m going to Jerry Perry’s bday party bash and am afraid I’ll be drinking again, I gotta stop.

Ambaholic.
p.s. here's a cute pic. I just got developed. Awwwww!

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

When you get evicted, Amber, remember that the apartment upstairs from me has been vacant for months. It looks just like mine, but reversed. I think they're trying to get $750 for it, but you might be able to talk them down. Also, one-time ICBINCer Xeno is looking for a roommate at his two-bedroom pad in Davis. I think the rent is $500. There's a jacuzzi, pool, workout room, free DSL and cable, plus you get to live with a rock star 24 hours a day! (And if anyone reading this is interested in living with a rock star in Davis - e-mail notcomedy@yahoo.com and we'll hook you up with the contact info. Just know that, if you take the room at Xeno's, you'll have to share it with Amber and all her band friends when she becomes homeless.)

In other news, Merry Christmas Not Comedians and friends! I'll see some of you at the True Love tonight for the free Kepi and Anton show!
Last night I had a pre-Lipstick cocktail party at my place, it was great had some rock stars there (5 of whom which walked up to my apartment EACH with a bottle of whiskey and their own glasses sipping alng the way), actors, film makers, photographers, writers, and I sat back thinking looking at everyone, 'I have some pretty fucking rad creative friends' and then I sat back and looked at the room again and realized 'I have about 12 hot guys in my apartment, and NO girls!' which Miles Miniachi pointed out at that point. But of course then towards the end of the party 2 of my uber cute girl friends I dance with every week came over, and then I wasn't the only girl anymore! :)

We ate chocolate fondu, had curry pizza-ettes, finished off lot's of wine and alkeehol, and yup...you guessed it, my annoying neighbor complained again, and I sware we were being quiet!!! I was so pissed, now I wanna move out and live with friends who are cool and wanna throw parties and listen to music till 3:00 am like I do. Damn. Afterwards, all our drunk asses walked over to dance at Lipstick and it was PAAAACKED! They weren't letting anyone in at that point, but the DJ let me and my friends get in...and for free, I was stocked! I had the best time, soem kind friends bought me some drinks, met soem cool new people, danced non-stop, closed the place down, went to an after party and got to sleep at 5:00 am. Rock n roll. And since this is the 'I Can't believe it's Amber's booty' blogger now, I'll have you all know my friend Emily grabbed my tush at least 5 times. That silly girl!

Amber

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

In the past, whenever knitting was called for in a skit, ICBINC merely mimed the time-honored yarn craft. Well, no more!
I am proud to announce that, for the first time ever, I Can't Believe It's Not Comedy will debut LIVE KNITTING! See no-holds-barred knitting live on stage at the free show on January 10 at the Crest Theatre. That's right, baby! We're talking full-on "knit one, purl two" action with size 10 bamboo needles and 100% cotton yarn, courtesy of Becca Costello.
Amber gets to play a porn star and have the entire blog named after her butt, Miles prances around in his underwear, Keith plays Jesus - but who gets the glamorous and mesmerizing role of "knitting woman?" Only Becca!
It's Christmas Eve eve, that is to say tomorrow is Christmas eve. Will the ICBINCers be out caroling? Last minute shopping? Drinking Becca's vegan eggnog spikeked with lighter fluid? No! HA! They'll be rehearsing under the whip of their oh so evil director! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! I'm pure evil I tells ya. PURE EVIL.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

What a glowing write up in Short Bus! I just read through the Blog before posting and caught it. Jeez, can we get Acosta a job at The Bee?

We had a cocktail party for Bryna's Birthdays last night. I say Birthday"s" because last year our shows went into early December and when her birthday rolled around we were all thrown into the holiday thing and so we gave her a raincheck on the celebration. Well, a couple of tours and another all original show later, it had been a year and we still hadn't cashed that rain check. Hence, last night we celebrated her 2002 Birthday from 8 p.m.-10 p.m. then her 2003 Birthday from 10:00 p.m. until the wee hours. Effecient aren't we?

Anway, the party was divoon. The theme was big clothes/tiny food (in other words dress cocktail and bring horse douvers). I think Keith wanted us all dressed up because that would put us on our best behavior and avoid such shenannigans as the "bring Mommy another cocktail" game.

The party went late into the night and we all sat and made the funny conversation and sipped a lovely assortment of beverages provided by our hosts mini-bar. Just when I thought we all seemed so grown up SACRAMENTO the renegade punk band showed up for an impromptu living room concert. These guys are great and if you ever have an encounter with them, you are one lucky kid! After the "show", I headed home. I fell asleep singing their finale number "The Dinosaurs died and we took over!"

Happy Birthday Bryna!

Friday, December 19, 2003

I'm a criminal...I got a notice on my door yesterday from a law office (unnamed) stating I'm guilty of a misdemeanor. I'm not even kidding, I know your all sitting there reading this waiting for a "AH I KID!" but I'm not. Apparently last weekend when I had my band pals stay with me for the weekend, it was too crazy. My property manager said she received 5 calls from my fellow tenants that there was a party till 3:00, loud music, people talking, pot smoking, lotsa drinking, trashing the place and too many people. Okay, now I know some of this is in fact true, but trust me readers, it's not as crazy as it sounds! I just gave some friends a place to crash, and sure we all partied a bit, pretty late, maybe a tad noisy, but I SWARE it wasn't that insane, definitely not cop worthy aiight!? I felt really bad though that I upset so many people that live there, I was going to have a party this next weekend, but after receiving that notice I don't think I will now, or maybe I will keep it to a minimum. Damn. Okay the misdemeanor I'm sure your wondering how that works the paper I received stated that: anyone who causes damage to others or property is guilty of a misdemeanor. There you have it. I truly feel bad, but it won't stop me from having people over, or friends crashing, or having a place for my friends bands stay instead of their vans! No way! I guess next time I'm just going to have to lay the law a little tougher when staying at "Casa Kloss". Tee hee. The funny part about it is, my property manager said someone described the motley crue with me as "young kids with long hair, tattoos...coming in and out of the complex" bwahahah!!!! My prop. manager was worried "I was getting involved with drugs and bands who are trouble...." Hmmmm...ME!? Nooooooooo! Watch out kids, you might seen me performing next in the episode of C.O.P.S rather than I can't believe it's not Coemdy!

Amber

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Oh, my goodness. We're rehearsing three different set lists right now. Our "It's Funny Because..." show to be done in SF, a 20 minute show for the SF Sketchfest and a best of set for our demo which we film in a couple of weeks. Lot's of work.
We're doing a cool new exercise though where we'll get in character for a skit and then the troupe members not in the skit will interview us and we have to answer in character. It's pretty fun and helpfull.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003



Ooh boy! The best part of the whole Short Bus article experience was looking on the front page of Shortbusmag.com for the teaser. It just says "It's Funny Because" and there's a close-up of Ben's crotch! Bwahahaha!
I want to know HOW Chris Acosta managed to swallow so much Visene?
Also, Amber's butt.
CLICK HERE TO READ SHORT BUS ARTICLE ON THE ICBINC!

Monday, December 15, 2003


So, you're a Koons fan, too, eh, Keith? Well, I say, Jesus, Michael Jackson--what's the diff? Actually, I was most impressed by the large scale sculptures he did of mylar balloon bunnies--some in excess of 20 or 30 feet--that I saw at the Museum of Mod art in LA. As for the history of the illustrious Eureka theatre, I'll just repeat my email that Tony and Pulitzer-winning playwright Tony Kushner has workshopped and premiered all of his plays, including Angels in America, at the esteemed Eureka, one of the most important theatres on the west coast...ICBINC in da house! BOO-YAH!!!

P.S.--Let go and let god, Amber.

One day at a time

Easy does it!

Keep coming back--it works!....if you work it.
I had the best DAMN weekend eva' ! Friday night I went to Distillery to see Amityville Horror, New Rock Militia and Black Saddle Hookers. I hung out with the lovely Robyn Rant at the show and we were making fun of everyone and just saying stupid shit, she so rawks. I met some really cool people at the show and had a blast, then I saw Mike Hood (from the Hoods...duh) he's back from tour and we talked till 3:00 and he kept making fun of me since I can't speak German as well as him, he's mean.
Saturday night after the WEst Coast Worldwide show I went out with Bleak December from L.A. who also played the show that night, we first went to the liquor store and they loaded up on some alkeehol (not all of them are straightedge kidz) then we went to Pieces and got some eats, all the dudes are hella funny, they all range from 15-22 years old so I told them I was their babysitter, tee hee, we were walking all over downtown handing out fliers for their show for the show next night, the show they had that night at west coast was awesome, they are an amazing hardcore band, very progressive and experimental, but don't take themselves so serious (their keyboard player at one point when he was playing wore a girly tank that sez: I (heart) Bleak December and some neon green speedos...and that's it, and everyone kept yelling "ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COCK OUT!!!" it's was heeeeelarious! After that they went to their hotel because they said they wanted to trash a hotel room...silly kids. After that I walked over to Distillery about 1:30 and hung out with all the kids and bands that played the west coast show that night that headed over there afterwards, then two of the bands that played at west coast that night (With all Sincerity: from Texas and Thirty Called Arson: from Oklahoma) crashed at my place, super nice dudes, they were all pretty young kids too 16-24...it was funny waking up to 10 rock stars sleeping on my floor...but the best part is and I totally mean this...they all play in these hardcore bands with screamy devil vocals..BUT one of them had a blanket with puppy dogs on it, and one had a pillow with trains and clowns on it! HA HA! Now THAT'S hardcore baby! Saturday all of us read music mags, listened to cd's and talked music shit...then loaded up in their van drove to Safeway to get stuff to make lunch with, we ran into Keith there (they thought you were rad too Keith!) after that they all make dinner, and then after we ate we went to Old Sac and went to some crazy candy store and ate a bunch of salt water taffy, then went to Downtown plaza and got in trouble for riding the bikes for sale in Copelands sports and just doing stupid stuff....after that we went to West Coast Worldwide for their show and rocked out...after that we all went to get pizza and beer with Mike Hood, then both bands, and Mike all went to the Distillery for their dance night and more drinks....then after that we bought more beer and Mike Hood let us all go back to West Coast Worldwide and we all sat on the stage and drank beer, talked about music and listened to some rap and hip hop. Rad. We all finally got home around 5:00 am and crashed. I am NOT drinking ever, ever, ever again. BUT I did not puke and am proud to say that. Anyway, here I am at work now, I just sent off 'With All Sincerity' and 'Thirty to Arson', they were so nice, they did all my dishes and cleaned everything this morning before they left. I was so sad when we said goodbye. I had the best laughs and time with all them dudes.....it was the best, I waved them all off goodbye I went into my kitchen and found my notebook and they all signed it with all these nice notes and memories from our weekend, but the best note one of them wrote was "sorry I puked in your bathroom" But now the parties over and I'm sad my new friends are gone...BUT I told them that the River Boat Gamblers who are from Texas as they are...want us to do a rock/comedy tour with us, and they all know the River Boat Gamblers...but they will help us out with promoting the show, give us a place to crash..etc...if we go out there.

I take back my previous blog earlier about hating rock stars by the way, these guys restored my faith! :D

I (heart) 'Thirty to Arson' and 'With all Sincerity'!
Amber
I love Jeff Koons. I don't recall him doing any Jesus figurines though. Miles, why don't you blog about he wonderful credentials of the Eureka Theater. Apparently folks, we're playing at a very well known, well respected theater. Ah, another notch in the old bed post of ICBINC. Please be assured we will still respect them in the morning, in fact we'll share our Cap'n Crunch and everything.

Sunday, December 14, 2003

I've got a "Secret Santa" story that just may top Becca's for humiliation value. For our work party/secret Santa blowout this year, I contributed some back issues of "Cat Fancy" (still trenchant reading, I assure you) which I was hard pressed to part with...actually, it was Amy's idea. Anyhoo, by the end of the gift exchanging frenzy, I had somehow received my heartfelt gifts BACK! Is this some kind of a first? Has anyone ever had a Christmas gift refused before? Is this worse than holding a garage sale where no one will stoop to buy the stuff you once bought (albeit for much more money)? Or is this merely karma for my "yard sale dirty sock" faux pas?

P.S.--Nix the porcelain figurines; Jeff Koons has already been there.

Saturday, December 13, 2003

Hey KLJ thanks for the link to the lovely porcelain Jesus figurines. I was wondering what I was gonna get Miles for Christmas. The Ballerinas with Jesus will be perfect. Hope he doesn't already have one...

Friday, December 12, 2003

Hee hee. Check this out. http://www.catholicsupply.com/christmas/othersports.html
They have statues of Jesus playing baseball, skiing, rollerblading, doing Karate. It's great. And the best part is THEY'RE TOTALLY SINCERE!
We just had a Secret Santa party at my work. For weeks, I've been leaving presents for my assigned person, but I haven't received any. I'd somehow convinced myself that my Secret Santa was just saving up all their attention for the last day and was going to present me with some lavish gift at the closing party. There were many such gifts at the party and, after they were all handed out, I didn't have one. Then everyone opened their presents one by one and tried to guess who their Secret Santa was. I was the last person and I had to admit that I didn't have a gift and I hadn't received anything this whole season. Then the man who checked the master list realized he'd forgotten to assign me to anyone. The entire room full of my co-workers turned to me, jutted out their bottom lips in unison and said, "Awwwwwwww...." with so much pity it nearly knocked me over. I felt like Tiny Tim without a crutch.
After the party, the organizer gave me $40 in Thai food trade to compensate, which is A-OK. Maybe I won't turn Bah Humbug quite yet.
In closing, I'd just like to remind everybody about Amber's butt.
Hey Amber, nice post, but what's it got to do with you're bootie. DID YA SEE THE NAME OF THE BLOG?

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Hey all...this weekend I booked two Short Bus Presents shows!
And Bleak December those nice boys with the hardcore screamy devil vocals we met in So. Cal are going to be playing Saturday and Sunday at West Coast Worldwide with some other awesome bands on some cool labels!!!!!

It's an underground show location so ya hafta email me if you wanna know where it's going to be amber@shortbusmag.com The shows are both at 7:00 and all ages!!!! This venue is INSANE!!!!! So come check it out if you can! It's going to be off da Mo fucking McHingezzz!!!!
Oh and I'm trying to plan a breakfast/ lunch something with Bleak December and With All Sincerity (another band playing this weekend, from Texas) with ICBINC, so I'll send out more info, I hope to see you ICBINCers this weekend!!!!!

Lord keep me away from those teenage boys!!

Amber
YAY, This is becoming the "Amber's Glorious Booty Blog." All Amber's booty all the time.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Nice article about avoiding the sin of oggling women, Keith. You know, maybe the Christians should take a tip from the orthodox Muslims and start covering up their women from head to toe. Then the whole eye-bounce thing is uneccessary.
My favorite confession: "On business trips, I still watched PG-13 rated movies." Like the Motion Picture Association's rating system is the true word of God on holy viewing material.
I also like how he had to distinctly describe (with numbers and in detail) the things he no longer looks at. "Female joggers in...tight...nylon...running shorts."
Just be free, Fred. Look at Amber's ass down there in that picture. It's ok. You're still a good person.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Amber, you just put that picture up cuz it's so flattering to your bootie.
But hey, if you want to use your bootie to sell tickets, by all means, be my guest.

Today I bring you a happy family picture someone sent me of ICBINC from our last show that makes me smile! (and our fabulous stage manager Bryna, she's the cutie in the blue bandana!)
I just love these people!!!!!

love and waffle cones;
Amber

Sunday, December 07, 2003

I'm perty darn excited. My friend Kendall did a few cartoons for Spike and Mike's Festival of Animation, and he did the Pizza Guys commercial with the talking italian stereo type pizza slices. He is building a studio in his backyard and is interested in working with us to do some animated versions of some of our skits. I'm thinking an Unborn Billy commercial for starters, but we can do tons more. I'll have him check out our stuff and then we can see which ones he thinks will work best. Woo hoo.

Friday, December 05, 2003

I just got back from Monterey. My girlfriend and I, got in some early celebrating of our upcoming 10th anniversary. 10 years!!! Holy bat poop.
We had a great time. She shopped around all over until she found the perfect place for poor people like us. We were right on the beach. Fireplace in the room. Just gorgeous.
We spent a day at the Aquarium looking at Jelly fish and all kinds of incredible stuff. We had the best Thai food at Amarin Thai (no relation to Sacramento's Amarin Thai, which is also quite yummy). I bought some comedy records and we did a bit of relaxin'.
Next year we'll stay longer.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Last night, Amber and I went to see Jonathan Richman and the Haints at Harlow's. KLJ would have been jealous, 'cause he loves Jonathan even better than Amber and I (who just discovered him last year). Jonathan did a lot of zany dancing and sang beautiful songs about New York in the spring, Vincent Van Gogh, the smell of diesel gas and Mumia Abu-Jamal. He didn't sing about dancing in a lesbian bar, much to Amber's disappointment.
A little bit of trivia - St. Simon 3, the band that will be playing with us in San Francisco in February, also has a song about dancing in a lesbian bar. It's completely different, but lovely nonetheless. Perhaps they'll play it when YOU come to our shows.
In other news, I got a new haircut that makes me look like an actress on the WB or Friends. Also, I'm riding my bike to Sid's this afternoon where the world-famous Lizard Boy (who always lets us stay in his Hollywood apartment when we play LA) will be conducting a show-and-tell reptile show. Cockroaches, skinks, snakes and everything but iguanas! If you ever meet Lizard Boy, he will show you the big bite scar on his cheek and explain that iguanas are not good pets. Now you know.

Monday, December 01, 2003

Thank you, KLJ, for updating the cast page! Now I know you really like me (and my check must have cleared the bank).
I'm meeting Amber Kloss at the True Love tonight, if anybody wants to go. I can't get enough of those soy Kashmir Green Tea Lattes. Plus, it's always good for my social life to be seen out and about with Cookie Kloss. Just standing next to the glow of her shiny locks makes me more attractive somehow...
In January, the True Love is having "Mr. Show" month at the True Love Science Theater on Monday nights. They're going to watch all three seasons. I have never seen this show, but I crack up every time Amber and Keith act out one of the skits. I think ICBINC should make a pilgrimmage each week to watch it. Who's with me?