Oh jeez. Remind me to think twice when Francois Fly offers me an acting job! Francois asked me to accompany him to a shoot in Fair Oaks last night for an upcoming episode of Mr. Lobo's Cinema Insomnia (www.cinemainsomnia.com). My character was a bimbo with one line. (Yes, it was a breakthrough role for feminism.) So I broke out the shiny gold pants I've only worn at the Trash Film Orgy, crimped my hair and set out to be a star.
It started out cheerily enough, with Mr. Lobo directing and Francois doing that nervous, eyeball-cleaning twitch he does. Then they broke out the sugar. It was supposed to be a sleezy party scene, and what is a fly's drug of choice? Refined C&H pure cane sugar! I ate sugar from a box over and over while we reshot this one scene. And I NEVER eat sugar. At all. I was so dizzy afterwards, I didn't have to act when my character crashed from a sugar high in the next scene. I just laid there while Francois ranted to the camera, wishing I had some actual food to balance my blood sugar levels.
And the whole sordid spectacle is on video! Luckily, no one I know has access to the UPN network in Virginia or Lousiana where the show airs. And you won't tell, will you?