Saturday, January 31, 2004

Ah, the glamourous life of a skit comedian. It's Saturday night and I'm finishing up some one month overdue paperwork for a job I don't have anymore. I should be in SF promoting.
I'm in a strange mood. I just read Disco Blood Bath and I'm actually pining for the days of reckless abandon. I like the stage of my life I'm at, and I don't want to go back, but I suppose it's okay to miss the past, like missing an old friend.
God, I had so much energy back then. People think I have a-lot now, but my GOD I could just run non-stop in my teens and twentys. I get more done now. I'm just so damn efficient.
I'm listening to Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, and also to The Birthday Party, Nick Cave's first band.
My new job's working out. I like working with Allen (Gallery Horse Cow). And it feels good to FINALLY be done with my old job. My new job won't follow me home. Much less pressure. It's less career oriented too, but I don't need a career. Comedy's a career. And it feels like it's going somewhere. It's moving. We just have to keep it moving. So far so good. We keep topping ourselves, but damn it's a long climb.
I think after these next THREE WEEKENDS of shows we should all sit down again and talk about what's on top of that hill.

I watched Triplets of Belleville at The Crest and I highly reccommend it. I also just watched a bunch of Buster Keaton, and a documentary on the Marx Brothers that I cried most of the way through. I always cry when I watch the Marx Brothers and I have NO idea why. Hmmm.

Monday, January 26, 2004

It's important to watch a lot of bad television comedy if you want to be a comedian. Hours upon hours of it is highly reccomended. The worse the better.
Boy am I tired! Amber, KLJ and I went to San Francisco last night to catch a little more of the Sketch Fest and flyer up some of those comedy-lovin' folks in the audience. I'm normally shy about handing people flyers, but last night I developed a rush-and-tackle delivery that worked pretty well. People had to zig zag and weave like jackrabbits to avoid me, and most didn't have the energy. That was the most athletic endeavor I'd engaged in since high school gym class! Now I ought to be in shape for Amber's roller skating birthday party next Friday.
We saw Beer Shark Mice and the Red Shirt Freshmen - both LA-based long-form improv troupes - hosted by two members of the Upright Citizens Brigade. And we got in free, for being performers in the festival. Yeah, we're connected. :)
Of course we didn't get home until 1:30 am. I slept through my yoga class and now I'm preparing to sleep through an evening of bad WB television...

Sunday, January 25, 2004

Oh, and let me add, The St. Simon 3 have been working with us and will supply the sound tracking at our SF shows and our back in Sac shows.
The music is really coming together, and I hear tell of another Naked Man song in the works!
I know I'm biased, but Becca's cover story in the N&R has been one of my favorite reads in this weekly thus far. Great job Becca.
So, we're all trying to get to SF as much as possible to promote our new shows. I've sent Michael Vav some posters and flyers via Horse Cow express. Amber and I are supposed to head to the city by the bay today.
We're looking to book time to record our first CD and while we're at it, we're laying down the audio for our first animation. Kendall Smith, a Spike and Mike regular, will be doing the animation.
We're working hard to get our video demo edited and we just booked a return trip to Sacramento where we'll be playing The Gallery Horse Cow again, February 20th and 21st.
Woowee, staying busy.
The News and Review decided we are still press worthy despit having recruited one of their writers into our troupe, and so Carey Roddah is putting together a story on us which should run right before the Sac shows.
YAY!

Thursday, January 22, 2004

READ MY COVER STORY, BEEYATCHS!
The latest News and Review is on the stands! It's also at www.newsreview.com. Go on! Read it. You'll like it.
Also, you literary types should know that Cookie Kloss and I will be at the Luna's Cafe open mic night at 8pm tonight, reading some poetry. I've got some brand new, tell-all nonsense that no one's heard but my cat. Come down and say hi, right after you read my cover story.

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

I JUST HEARD A NIRVANA SONG...IN A COMMERCIAL. WTF? I am furious. For real. Whoever owns that song, and allowed this is the devil.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Oh jeez. Remind me to think twice when Francois Fly offers me an acting job! Francois asked me to accompany him to a shoot in Fair Oaks last night for an upcoming episode of Mr. Lobo's Cinema Insomnia (www.cinemainsomnia.com). My character was a bimbo with one line. (Yes, it was a breakthrough role for feminism.) So I broke out the shiny gold pants I've only worn at the Trash Film Orgy, crimped my hair and set out to be a star.
It started out cheerily enough, with Mr. Lobo directing and Francois doing that nervous, eyeball-cleaning twitch he does. Then they broke out the sugar. It was supposed to be a sleezy party scene, and what is a fly's drug of choice? Refined C&H pure cane sugar! I ate sugar from a box over and over while we reshot this one scene. And I NEVER eat sugar. At all. I was so dizzy afterwards, I didn't have to act when my character crashed from a sugar high in the next scene. I just laid there while Francois ranted to the camera, wishing I had some actual food to balance my blood sugar levels.
And the whole sordid spectacle is on video! Luckily, no one I know has access to the UPN network in Virginia or Lousiana where the show airs. And you won't tell, will you?
Saturday afternoon I went to the Red Tape music video film shoot, a few of us Short Bus staffers went, it was so much fun! It was crowded and a lot of familiar faces in the music community were there, great to see the support! It went so well and I had a blast! Here's some pics from it below, one is of Red Tape (duh) one of a stage divin' fan and one of Robyn (from Rant Magagine) and I. Red Tape is one of the best bands out in Sac currently...and the nicest dudes...check 'em out www.redtapearmy.com

love and mosh pits;
Amber

Saturday, January 17, 2004

HA HA! My friend Johnny, from Sac Cacophony just called me on his cell phone and let me listen as he and his cacophonous buddies drove by Goldie's Adult Super Store yelling "Who's buying porn?"
This is of coursed based on the stories of sweet little Amber Kloss doing the same thing and then giggling all the way home. Congrats Amber, you've started a tradition. Johnny is the fourth person to tell me of doing this after seeing our show. I wonder how many more folks are shoutin' it out.

Friday, January 16, 2004

Diagram A) Amber and Miles at Lipstick ....(sumptin' wrong there Miles?)

Diagram B) Miles, Amber and Flossy (of Quitter) at Lipstick....(a moment when Flossy was explaining to me that I needed to 'speak up' not because the club was loud, but he couldn't hear me over my LOUD red lipstick)

Thursday, January 15, 2004

I nominate Ben and Miles for the rotten egg lifetime achievement awards on this blog. I blog all the freakin' time, yo! But yes, I had to be the rotten egg today so I could rush to work and deliver draft #2 of MY FIRST EVER COVER STORY FOR THE NEWS AND REVIEW to my editor. It comes out on Thursday the 22nd everybody! Be sure to pick one up, so the bosses will say, "Wow! When Becca writes a cover, it just flies off the stands!"
But enough about my job - how about that Sketch Fest? What a time! That was the first time I ever got to see sketch comedy outside of us, Free Hooch and all the guys on TV. I was impressed - especially with Ludlow and Canal - but I was happy to see that we held our own - and then some! "She" was a perfect opener - quiet and unexpected, with the punchline that never fails. I now think "Unborn Billy" truly is comedy gold. People just can't stop cracking up through that whole skit, and it's not subject matter I've ever heard in anyone's comedy routines before. Yay, us!
I was trying to act out Ludlow and Canal's film-into-theater skit at work this morning for Irina and she kept looking uncomfortable. Turns out the owner of the company was behind me showing one of our new employees around. I was running and spinning and doing the whole bit. Oh well. If I was the new employee, I'd think, "Hey! It can't be all bad here if the workers burst into spontaneous dance routines in the hallways..."
Shoot, I got home and started to blog and decided I was too delirious to post. Now I'm the god damnned rotten egg!

The Sketchfest experience was absolutely fabulous. We performed with a bunch of great troupes and the venue was completely sold out! We led off with SHE with me in the main role, performing it for the first time. No pressure (hah!). Thanks to KLJ for that vote of confidence. It went over great, lulled the audience into a trance then hitting 'em with the punch. Oh Yeah! Then we slid into UNBORN BILLY which knocked their socks off then closed with MILES BIG SURPRISE. Always great to end on a musical number and this one is a gas!

Thanks to Candance for coming all the way to SF to see us and for hanging in there to the bitter end at the taping session on Saturday. That kid's got Moxie!

I'm feeling like we're really starting to break into SF. The Spanganga run is gonna rock. The timing on the Sketchfest couldn't have been better for publicity. Everyone got a little taste of the ICBINC magic and now they want more. We had many requests for our posters and flyers, now that's flyering gold.

Hah-I do believe that Becca is now the rotten egg.
More kind words from an ICBINC fan....awwww shucks!
**************
Hey Amber!! wow the show was hilarious! You made a great feminist pizza
porn star and not a bad dyke either! Thanks for inviting me, let me know
when the next time something like this goes down!
Lily
***********
OH IT'S GREAT! We did really well at the sketchfest. I don't know if any of the big shot performers were there from SNL and what not, but the place was sold out. Thanks to Uphill Both Ways, The Disclaimers and, my new heroes, Ludlow and Canal. They were great folks to perform with and it was really and honor to share the stage with them.
It's awfull late for a boy who works at 7 AM!!!
Good night.
Sid's a rotten egg.

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Todays the big day. Today! ICBINC performs in the SF Sketch Comedy Festival (www.sfsketchfest.com) I'm excited and nervous as hell!

There's going to be some really awesome people in the audience tonight, cast members from SNL, Comedy Central, Scrubs, some actors from Best in Show....and more! I'm really confident about the skits were going to be presenting, they are our more edgiest unique sketches.....my voice is still a little hoarse from Saturday's show, but I've been drinking throat coat and will sleep on the way.

We'll all be loading up the 'band bus' and heading to the city at 3:00 tonight to knock some socks off! Then in Feb we've got 2 weeks of shows in SF, can't wait!!!! I spoke with Charles at Capitol Garage the other day and he wants us to perform at Cap Garage with Xenophilia, but if they can't I'd love to get some fun bands to play a bill with us, I think that would be awesome!

I'm secretly dying to go back and perform in LA, LA is always good to us and we always sell out, and then of course there's Venice Beach where we all 'practice' our skits before the show and eat at Mau's and stay the night in the Jim Morrison apartment over looking the ocean...damn that was a fun time, I really hope we go back in the spring...are you listening KLJ! Let's do it! Let's go back to the M Bar or Knitting Factory and play again!

I've been practicing my go-go dancing so I think I'm going to be golden for tonights show!

'YAY! Santa brought me an unborn Billy doll!!'
-Amber

Monday, January 12, 2004

Hell yeah!!! Saturday night was unbelievable, a big thanks to all who came out as our laugh track.....I didn't think we were going to get such an overwhelming response to the show, the line went all the way down K street and if you didn't get there before 9:00, you couldn't get in, I felt so bad as we turned away about 200 people and a lot of my friends didn't get to see the show, bummer.

Yup, as Keith mentioned below there way a great crowd of other artists/ local faces who came out, Supermodel Suicide, Mister Metaphor, Quitter, An Angle, The Snobs, Red Tape, Diciembre Gris, Mallrats, Cake, Cary Rodda, David Houston, Charles from Cap Garage, Mark Halverson, writers from Short Bus/ Rant/ Alive and Kicking, Robert Berry of Retrocrush.com, RetroRandy, Paul Imagine, local actors, The Free Hooch Comedy Troupe....it's always nice to have artists in the audience! :)

Now, my voice is completely gone and hoarse from all the talking, laughing, drinking, no sleeping....and a big thanks to Mickie for hosting the after party drink fest at his place afterwards! :) I just hope I'll have my voice back for our big show this Wednesday for the SF sketch fest! :O

Below I thought I'd share some nice words from my pal Matt Ferro (Supermodel Suicide)
----------------------------
Amber
first off...sacramento was hilarious. led zepplin cover and a misfits
cover. amazing. you couldn't ask for a better "warm up" act.
second - there was a ton of people who were turned away
actually....i believe lisa and me got the very last two tickets.
we totally enjoyed the show! my fave skits would have to be the urinal
skit, the pony skit and unborn billy doll. i think that was the best
one just cause it was the "edgiest" of all the skits....and thats how
i like it. shit was fun though! thanks for inviting us though! we had a great time. your "leader" i think his name is keith lowel jensen or something, reminds me a little of scott thompson. in looks and the way he acts.
-Matt Ferro
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Sunday, January 11, 2004

Yep. Quite a night. The fan club was out in full affect. I'm so friggin' tired. The taping went until 1:30 am and then clean up and shmoozing and what not. I knew this would run long. I'm soooo glad we decide to cut Jesus Christ CEO or we'd have been there until 4 am.
Great audience though. Mark Halverson, the writer who gave us the 'Best Of' nod from the News & Review came out to the show with a bunch of friends, Robert Berry of Retrocrush.com was there with his lovely wife Linda and our pal RetroRandy, who really hates that I call him RetroRandy. Poster artist Paul Imagine made it out. Chris & Michelle, Johnny and Amalia all came out. Johnny is the founder of the Sacramento Cacophony society and Chris and Michelle build tesla coils and blow stuff up. Some folks from The Free Hooch Comedy Troupe came out. The guy from Quitter, I forget his name, but he came out and talked with him for awhile aftewards. Really nice guy. Diciembre Gris came out. I love those guys. The two brothers in the band are from a family of five boys, just like me. Irina, the graphic artsist that makes us look so good on our posters and flyers was there, but of course she was since her husband was one of the filmmakers. I'll have to get links up to the filmmakers websites. They're the best.
Thanks to everyone who came out.
Holy Crap! I just got home from our taping of "Live at the Crest"! What a night! The troupe was on, on, on! Everything just clicked, the audience was great and it all just felt so electric. We turned away soooo many people. We could have filled the room twice over easy. Once again I spent all day sick with nerves, pacing around wondering why I put myself through this only to be reminded that I do this because this is one helluva troupe and one helluva show.

Thanks to Nate, Bob, Dave, Bill (smoochy), Tony, Jen, Loren, Mickie and my little princess of puke Heather who stayed to the bitter end.

I sleep now.

Friday, January 09, 2004

Okay, so I've had a chance to call most of the troupe and tell them, now I can tell the random stranger who may be reading this.
I just got back from Vegas.
My mom sent Bryna and I there for our tenth anniversary of bein' a couple.
I asked Bryna to marry me.
She said yes.
We're engaged.
Becca wrote "Xeno and Miles' son, Gabe" which is pretty crazy. I didn't even know that Miles and Xeno had a kid together. Hmmm? Pretty cool.
HOLY SHIT, Amy Anne's gonna be there!
WOW! That's so GREAT!
I just talked to my longtime friend Bill who lives in Seattle. He's coming to our peformance at the SF Sketch Fest! From three states away! We'd better be funny! Wait... what am I saying? We're always funny!!!
Xeno's birthday party was the best! We went ice skating at the Downtown Rink. Though the staff assurred me there would be an Elvis' birthday celebration that day, when we got there they were just playing the usual Top 40 lineup. At least I got to hear that Milkshake song everybody's always talking about. Now I'm hip.
There were about 10 of us on the ice and I'm proud to report nobody fell. Xeno and Miles' son, Gabe, were first-time ice skaters and they were more stable than most of us - except Ms. Amber "Dorothy Hamil" Kloss who did spins and turns on the ice. Later, our party grew and we packed into the oh-so-popular Mikuni Sushi and consumed $300 worth of fish and rice and saki. A few brave souls stayed up late for (vegan) cake and ice cream at my house. Ben and Shelly brought Xeno an alien-in-a-jar lamp, which lent an eerie glow to the night's finale.
We were graced with the company of many celebrities last night - including burlesque dancer Cherry Malone, filmmaker Bob Moricz, musician William Mylar, Short Bus editor Chris Acosta and a 6-months-pregnant Amy Anne! She's definitely glowing! Xeno convinced her to join him at Saturday's ICBINC show to sing a few numbers (including the Naked Man theme song!)

And for those of you still on the fence about attending tomorrow night's show at the Crest, let me just say that my new Atomic Girl costume is all skin-tight spandex... except for the see-through mesh part. Look out!

Monday, January 05, 2004

Just so Amber's posts do not mislead, we are not all drunk crazy girls. I'm never drunk, rarely crazy and only part girl.
Amber skipped the rough teenage years of drinking and drugs so she's making up for it now. Ah god bless her. Someone has got "go wild" and I say better she than I.
KEITH - WHEN ARE WE GOING TO DECADES? If you don't answer me soon, I'm wearing a black coat, black pants and a black ski mask for every single skit in Saturday's show.

For the record, I did not "go wild" as Amber would have you believe. I was home in my jammies by 9:30pm. On a Friday night. But yes, I did have some of Amber's special cocktails. Looks like airplane toilet water, tastes like an Otter Pop! Mmmmm! And yes, I did have fun! Thanks A.K.! (I guess it was a good day... I didn't have to use my AK.)

P.S. Henceforth, this blog shall be named "I can't believe it's Amber's trunk with the funk in the junk."
Amber's weekend party log:
RESISTING TO DANCE PROVES FUTILE!!!!
Friday night: Had a pre-short bus show at my house with over a dozen rock stars (Quitter, The Snobs and Mister Metaphor) I got my party on, I got Becca to drink I think 3-4 of my specialty martinis---BECCA GONE WILD! I somehow crammed nearly 30 people in my apt....then we all walked over to Old I for the show....more drinking, more partying, the bands rocked the house....afterwards I went to a after party...drank some more, and then walked home at like 5:00 am. GOOD TIMES! My favorite part of the night was at the Short Bus show at Old I I went around to everyone in the club and made them hold a sign that said "FUCK SHIT UP!" and took pictures of them! Hee hee!
Saturday night: I went to club Vicious! (check out www.clublipstick.net for more info!) got my dance on, got my drink on....below is a picture of my friends and I from it, WOO HOO! Afterwards me, the DJ Shawn Slaughter and some DJ's from SF and all us went to Eppies for some eats, I was tired and went to sleep at 4:00 am.
Sunday: Slept in, went to lunch with friends, then I went to dinner with a cool boy I met at Lipstick last week, then he impressed me by showing me some very cool episodes of 'Aqua Teens Hunger Force' cartoons....which totally ruled! Went to a friends birthday party, Then I had another Short Bus show at West Coast World wide with my boys from L.A. Bleak December, With Dead Hands Rising and They Came Burning…SO FUN! And I didn't get kicked in the mosh pits! Afterwards Mikey Hood and all the bands and us went to get pizza and beer at midnight….Mikey played Elvis song "Suspicious Minds" on the Jukebox like 10 times that nerd! After that I got to sleep early this time (2:00) YAY!

Saturday, January 03, 2004

NO FAT GIRL JOKES!
Mad TV is doing this Plump and Pretty style fashion show and it's just so mean. Two anorexic bitches making fat jokes, included jokes about fat girls crying all the time and being alone all the time while anorexic bitches in fat suits parade around showing the "Fashions". Then they take callers from men who call in and make fat girl jokes. The ladies then degenerate into fat girl jokes of their own.
They make it okay by letting the fat girl make skinny bitch jokes in the end, while wearing her fat suit. She gets some ugly jokes and ends with "I got to go take the junk in my trunk and go work my funk".
We're just so much better than this. SOOO MUCH BETTER. I can't get any inspiration from Mad TV at all, and very little from current SNL. At least NetFlix has Mr Show episodes, and I got my Simpsons and I just ordered some League of Gentlemen and some Gentlemen Prefer French and Saunders. I'll do some reviews after I get 'em.
Man, I can't wait to get some of our good stuff on DVD so we can spread the ICBINC to the masses.