We're too filthy for Cable Access. Our current show is one of the racier shows we've done, but we do have a very silly and innocent skit called Lizard Boys. Two reptile loving geeks are in the mall discussing their hobby "Yeah man, my red phase german giant mated with my sand fire high yellow. I got the eggs at home." When a woman passes they both display in the fashion of a male lizard trying to attact a mate. Head bobbing, arm waving, etc. This progresses with them fighting with each other and, well, I don't want to ruin the ending. The Sacramento Bee described the skit as "hilariously visual."I just recieved a call from the producer of LiveWire on Sacramento Public Access. We were scheduled to appear on the show, and to use a video clip of Lizard Boys to give the audience a taste of our show. Lizard Boys was deemed "too sexual" by this producer.
"What? Lizard boys, the skit with the two boys acting like lizards?" I asked.
"Yes. It's very sexualized. We have standards we have to adhere to." she answered.
"There is no sex in that scene. I watch kid's cartoons every day. Men's eyes pop out of their heads, their tongues roll out, they say "Helllllooo Nurse! All our Lizard Boys do is bob their heads and fight with each other. If you see sex in this skit, it's on you, because it's not there."
She started to answer, but I was at work and I'd spent too much time on this already, plus I was getting pissed that she was projecting her smut paranoya onto such and innocent, goofy skit. I interrupted. "Look, let's just not work together."
"Okay." she agreed.
WOW! I'm still boggled by this very strange woman.
Perhaps it was the tantilizing line, "The dominant male gets first choice of breedable females from the clutch." that pushed if over the pg-13 line eh? It is a hot line, straight out of Penthouse Forum.
Oh well. My lifelong dream of being on public access television will not be satisfied this week.
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