Sunday, August 17, 2003

I worked for corporate America and I wore a namebadge. I've always hated name badges. I hate when some cleanly scrubbed guy or girl says, with fully good intentions, "Hi Keith! How ya doing?" I give someone my name out of friendship, trust, it's a signifigant thing to me. I don't want it plastered on my chest for any jerk off to come pluck it off and use it. The worst is when they're unhappy and they use it. "You listen to me...(reading name tag) Keith!" I used my middle name when I was working which took some of the sting out of it. I've always wondered if this is what David Byrne was singing about in the Talking Heads' song "Give Me Back My Name".
So I've become obsessed with name tags. Durring my days with The Company there was a big revolutionary trend going on in corporate America. Starbucks opted to call their employees partners. Petco had associates. They all wanted this co-op type feel, like they were worker owned. At my job I changed my name tag to read Comrad. Nobody noticed.
I've noticed now that the trend has turned to celebrity. Jamba Juice has "Stars" making their smoothy. And the "Stars" each get a "Star Profile" that hangs in the store. The Old Spaghetti Factory, Rite Aid and even Taco Bell are following this trend. How Freaking humiliating for these employees. "High I'm a star. Would you like a free boost?" "Um, excuse me, the restrooms will be closed for a minute while I clean them. I'm a star."
Okay. I'm done.

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