Friday, October 31, 2003

This putting on a show stuff is a lot of work. We put out our press releases, hand delivering them. So far we've heard back from The Bee, they are going to run a story on us, and Jonathan Mum, the reporter who did a news story on us a while back for News10 called to say that he had recieved the press pack. He didn't say if he was going to do a story or not. I ran him a tape that Bob Moricz edited together hoping to show him just how great we are. Mark S. Allen from Good Day Sacramento has expressed interest in doing a story as well, but nothing is set in stone there. I think we'll send them another press release printed on a cake or something. Get their attention. I think the News and Review may be shy about doing a story because one of their own is in our cast now. We'll see.

I've got to be thinking of how I'm gonna get comedians and audiences interested in my show at The Sacramento Comedy Spot as well. I meat with Brian, the fella putting the club together, next wednesday to discuss advertising budgets and such. I've also given notice at my work. I'm gonna swap this day job for another one. I'll be going to work for my friend Allen, who owns the Gallery Horse Cow where we perform. That will happen in January.

Lots going on. And, it's Halloween. Woo Hoo.

Thursday, October 30, 2003

The whole ICBINC gangs is hoppin' this week. Miles and Becca at Trash Film Orgy, Amber has her Short Bus show and ICBINC alumnus Emily Yay and I will be performing in San Francisco as part of Popcorn Anti Theater. WOO HOO.
I hope everyone promotes our new show heavily.
Well, I can honestly say the casting call was the first time I'd ever used that phrase. In fact, I even messed it up a few times and called people "pencil-necked mother fuckers." (Which is a valid insult, but lacks the punch of the original).
In my defense, let it be known that "How would you know, you pencil-dicked mother fucker?" was my only line in the most popular audition scene and my character was supposed to be very angry. So, in comparison to the rest of the time when I was sitting around dozing or reciting the more subtle "fuck you!" banter of the "love scene," I suppose you could say I was perky about the pencil dick part. Sure.
Now tell Jonathan to quit spreading rumors about me, that pencil-dicked mother fucker.

And in other news - ICBINC's own Miles Miniaci and Becca Costello will perform on the Crest stage tonight during the intermission of the Trash Film Orgy with burlesque dancer Cherry Malone! Tomorrow night, Amber Kloss will join us for an ICBINC triple threat dance number! Bet you didn't know we hilarious actors could dance too. See www.trashfilmorgy.com for details and have a Happy Halloween!
BEn and I wen to Jonathan's last night to record audio for the film that Jonathan's doing with us for the new show. Jonathan says you were really into the "Pencil-Dick" line. He said you'd pep up when that line came along. Is this true? Does sweet, hippy girl Becca like to call people Pencil-Dick Mother Fucker's?

Monday, October 27, 2003

I will not be in Jonathan Morken's next film, but I did have the honor of standing in as a reader during the casting call at the Crest this weekend. Not only did I get to shout the phrase "you pencil-dicked mother fucker" about 85 times; I also had about as many Sacramento actors tell me my "pussy wasn't gold." One of these actors was our own Ben Miller, who I don't think was very thrilled to have to say such a thing to me. He sucked it up and insulted my anatomy like a pro, though! Nothing but professional actors here at I Can't Believe It's Not Comedy, folks. We wish Morken the best of luck on his new film, which ought to be available for Sacramento screenings in late January.
Congrats also to KLJ on his new comedy night. I urge everyone to check it out because there is no one in this town who has given more thought to "why comedy can suck" than the founder of not comedy. He's sure to avoid the usual mistakes and create something very funny (or at least make some new mistakes - which would be refreshing, wouldn't it? :).
In other news, KLJ, stage manager Bryna and myself are still hitting the YMCA dern near every morning for yoga and cardio. Go us! In the next phase of our quest for fame, we're getting colon hydrotherapy treatments and joining the Church of Scientology. Then the celebrities will have to let us into their club!
It's become official. I will be hosting a comedy showcase at the Sacramento Comedy Spot which will open on Del Paso Blvd in the next month or so.
I'm very excited about this show. It will be a great mix of Featured Stand Up, Music, variety acts, and open mic comedy. I will MC and we'll be keeping it entertaining.
More details as they become available. Of course my ICBINC cronies will be involved. WOOO HOOO!

Saturday, October 25, 2003

We're looking for some music for the upcoming show. We're without Xenophilia, and we're looking at working with the St. Simon 3, but they won't be available until our SF shows in February. I'm thinking Naked Nathan might do a fine job in the meanwhile. We'll have to wait and see if he's available.
It looks like half our cast will be in Jonathan Morken's next film, Nwar. Some idiot e-mailed a bunch of girls that had been invited to audition and warned them that it was a porn flick. You'd be surprised how many knee jerk idiots just cancelled their audition or no showed rather than ask to see the script, especialy since Jonathan has offered a copy of the script for anyone who wants it right from day one. The auditions are at the Crest Theatre. I don't think many porn film producers are getting to hold their auditions at The Crest. And most would require somewhere a little more tolerant considering what "Skills" they'd be auditioning. Showbiz is less competitive than people think, if you're not stupid I mean. Thank god for stupid people. Example; My friend Brett got a call from a casting agent asking if he knew how to do Three Card Rummy. Brett says "Yes, I do!" She's thrilled explaining to Brett that he's the 30th person she's called. Brett is amazed that 29 people before him said "No". He hangs up with her, calls me and says, "Hey Keith, I got 8 hours to learn how to do 3 card rummy." Brett got a few moves down, did the job, and got the paycheck. Brett's so thrilled about not being stupid.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

KLJ posted the ICBINC poster on the retrocrush message board. Someone wrote, "Why is that girl in the middle holding a ham?"
Apparently, a whoopie cushion is not an immediately recognizable comic icon. Now we know. Truth be told, I really would look that distressed if I had to hold a piece of ham, being vegan and all. Plus, we're hams on stage. So it's ok if people think I am holding ham. I'm alright with it. Really.
Love always,
Ham Gal

P.S. Former ICBINC-er Amy Anne got married today in lovely Midtown Sacramento! Congratulations!

Monday, October 20, 2003


this is our new poster. I'll put the flyers up soon too.

Sunday, October 19, 2003

The garage sale went well. We sold a bunch of crap and handed out some flyers.
Miles contributed a big bag full of REALY dirty cloths, including dirty socks. Where did we find this guy? He's a nutcase.
Surprisingly enough, nobody bought Miles' dirty cloths.
The posters and flyers have been ordered and they're on the way. Woo Hoo. We should have the flyers by Tuesday or wednesday.

I saw Kill Bill. Great stuff. Some incredible cinematography, amazing fight scenes. Super duper japanese animation sequence. It's wonderfull.

Friday, October 17, 2003

OK, so one of my two living rooms is totally full of stuff for tomorrow's I Can't Believe It's a Yard Sale! That's right, comedy fans, we are selling a ton of books, CDs, movie posters (we've got connections to the Crest, you know), kitchen appliances and even a Jerry Garcia action figure still in the box. Woo! Those are some grateful deals! KLJ, Bryna, Amber Kloss and I will be standing on the corner of 25th and O St. in midtown tomorrow, ready to make you a deal. The more you buy, the better our props are for the next show!
See you Saturday, October 18th from 8am-noon at 25th and O St! Haul your booty out of bed. We'll have coffee for you.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Mmmmmm! Sexy Yoga teacher. Oops, I guess I didn't achieve Yoga. I achieved something though...tee hee hee.
Yahoo is the pits.
I am so sick of their inconsistent service. And I don't just mean their free service either. When I first started putting up web sites I registered my URLs through Yahoo and boy did I regret it. So, don't use Yahoo. Right now I can't get into my e-mail account. At least I can be glad that I didn't pay for that.
I reccommend www.powweb.com for hosting your website. If you use them be sure to tell them www.RockAss.net sent you, it helps me out.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

I'm going to yoga with KLJ and Bryna tomorrow! You know, all the big mega-millionaire stars like Madonna and Tom Cruise go through their wild youth and then discover yoga and become health nuts. If we just start out with the healthy yoga part, maybe we'll become mega-stars that much faster! Or, maybe we can have our wild youth later, when we've got more resources to fritter away senselessly! Anyway, I've got my mat all dusted off and ready to go.
Del Paso is really coming into its own! Between the flaming scupltures of the Burning Man art show and the liquid light psychedelia live rock and altars at Gizomi, there was nowhere better to be last Saturday night. And now a comedy club, too? Huzzah! An actual art district in Sacramento.

Monday, October 13, 2003

Wow. Working out felt great. Did a little running, played with all the different machines, through the basketball at the hoops a bit. Bryna really liked the Tai Chi, I think I'll try it next time.
My friend Bryan of Free Hooch Comedy troupe is opening a club. They're doing a bit of construction at the moment, remodelling the building. The club will be out on Del Paso, the same part of town where our home The Gallery Horse Cow is located. I'm gonna meet with him on wednesday to see how I can help out with the club. He's a good guy. I look foward to working with him again. We did the 1st annual Sacramento Sketch Comedy Festival together a while back. Hmmm, I wonder if we should do that again. It was great fun.
I'm getting old. I joined the YMCA. I'm going to go work out tonight. Bryna's going to do some Tai-Chi or however you spell it. I don't dance often these days. I don't skate board. I don't do much. So, I joined the Y. I'm actualy excited to be making a move toward gettign back in shape and the Y is less than two blocks from my house, so, I'm gonna enjoy it. But of course I'm almost a yuppie. If I'd joined 24 hour fitness then I'd be a yuppie. The Y has basketball courts. Maybe I'll learn to play basket ball. And yoga. I'm gonna do a-lot of Yoga.
I wish they had Jui-jitzu. I want to do some sparring. I wrestled my friend Steve Thoreson. He's a comedian and he's very intellectual. I always interrupt his act though and make him do his impersonation of bacon. He has been threatening to kick my ass for this for years so Saturday at the Galley Horse Cow's Burning Man show we decided to go ahead and fight. I ended up choking him out, meaning that he tapped because I got him in a choke hold. I didn't actualy make him pass out. I can't be too proud of winning though as the fight started with me jumping on him when his back was turned. I'm a bad person. Yes I am. There will be a rematch I'm sure.
I love fighting. My brother's an ultimate fighter and I guess it's just in the blood. I don't like the anger, just the sport of it. I need more friends like Steve.
If anyone wants to wrassle let me know.

Friday, October 10, 2003

KLJ should have his own weekly comedy night at The True Love cafe. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. I could feature all my funny pals. I've got contortionists, stand up comedians, Karaoke loving Mexican Wrestlers, and my ICBINC friends. Damn. It'd be the best show EVER! Check out www.Truelovesacto.com to see where it is I'm thinking I'm needed.

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

Jonathan and Ben came over. Jonathan's working on a short film with me and was doing the titles. It's just clips of The Last Supper painting with us doing audio over the top. You'd have to see. It's one of the funnier things we've done. Anyway Ben reminded me of something I just had to shair. Some Jehova's witnesses were canvasing my neighborhood and we're across the street from my house doing our photo shoot. The Jehova's see us and head over but the get halfway accross the street and notice that we're all covered in blood. The freeze. The don't say a word to each other or to us, they just turn, perfectly synchronized away, and move on to the next block.
FUNNY!
I'll have some of the picks up real soon.
Governor Arnold! Oh my god. We're so stupid. I just can't believe how stupid we are. He used the old "I'm gonna sweep California Clean" speach, with the Broom and everything! As Ben pointed out, that one was how they showed that the jackass politician was a jackass in O Brother Where Art Thou. The rest of us laughed at it, but Arnold said, "Oooh, I like that. Yeah, I'll sweep the state."
Why is our memory so short. I can't defend Gray Davis, he stinks, but have we forgotten Pete Wilson. The man whoes mess Davis inherited? And what about our crappy representatives who haven't gotten the budget done on time in YEARS!
The problem is much bigger than Davis and Arnold is know solution. I'm just glad that he ran on a platform of idealistic optimism. I'm hoping that means everyone will get sick of him real quick when he gets nothing done.

Okay, we're not a political troupe, I'll go back to talking about comedy and such. Good Day.

Sunday, October 05, 2003

SO, we started getting the photos done and we're out in this parking lot across the street from my house splattering blood all over ourselves. I asked Irina who did our last flyer and poster to come supervise the shoot so that she got what she needed for the new flyer/poster. I'm too much of a control freak though and I ended up overriding her on several decisions. It hit me last night that what we end up with working this way is either Irina's vision watered down by me, or my vision watered down by Irina. I hate compromise in art. I took the disk of photos this morning, gave them to Irina and said "Here. Design the flyer your way. Do whatever you want. I don't care how you use the photos or if you use the photos at all." She seems excited to be free to do what she does, and I feel better too. I chose Irina for this project because she's such an awesome artist, I don't know why it took my so long to realize what I needed to do. I would like for us to create a whole scene around us the way the Buzzcocks did, the way Sigue Sigue Sputnik did the way Andy Warhol did. And that doesn't happen by having a bunch of artists all compromising themselves it happens by putting the right people together and letting everyone do what they do well.
So, anyway, I feel good. I feel like we're going to get great flyers and posters and like Irina's gonna be a lot happier being our graphics arts person. Hell, she's definately not doing it for the money.
Hmmm, I wonder what we will end up with?
This is an odd show. Probably our strangest combination of skits and anti-skits ever. AND...THE PUPPETS ARE BACK!

Saturday, October 04, 2003

I'm feeling better. I hung out with Xeno and Becca last night. We saw Lost in Translation. What a great flick. After the movie we had some sushi and then the whole troupe met at my place this morning for a photo shoot. First Coffee and Oatmeal, then photos. The photos are crazy. Funny stuff. I can't wait to see the new posters and flyers. WOOO HOOO! Now if I can only get some work done between now and rehearsal on Tuesday.

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Tonight I'm bummed. Xenopilia will be taking a leave from us. I'm not sure if it's permanent or temporary. I will miss them. They didn't join the cast until the Christmas show, meaning we've done three original shows without them and only one original show and the Best of shows with them, but durring that period of time they've really gotten to feel like a part of us. I definately want to continue using live music so I'm looking for someone to provide that. I've got a couple of leads but not a-lot of time and usual my day job suffers when I'm stressing on the troupe and the day job pays the bills so I'm stressed over all, and it sure feels like a big break is right around the corner, so we just got to hang on. We're getting so much positive attention. Ahhhhhhh!

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

We had a good rehearsal last night. A little bit of tension over a skit I wrote with a bit of absurdist gay smut shock value thrown in in the middle. No one was deeply offended but there's the question of Toilet Humor. We obviously don't want to go the shock value route, and oddly enough the skit in question starts with a statement about not doing this kind of humor. But we have our Team Urinals skit set in the a bathroom and it's FAR from toilet humor. So the question on this new one was, did it have some deeper meaning, some context, that made it more than the sum of it's parts, or was I just going out of my way to make the audience uncomfortable. We worked out a way to let me do my piece and to let the other person respond to it, which I think adds more of the troupes personality and is a good thing.
I know this must be strange to read without having the actual skit to refer to. Ha Ha. you'll just have to wait till our new show.
Now I get the stress of balancing what skits go in and trying to give everyone enough stage time. Fun.